In the first couple days of my freshman year of college, some girls from my dorm were hanging in my room. I had just gotten Sublime’s self-titled album, which had a photo in the liner notes of Bradley Nowell singing to his baby.
I had the liner notes on my night stand and one of the girls said, “Oh, is that your baby?” in the sincerest, non-judgiest way possible. (Like, less judgy than you are right now about me saying “non-judgiest” a second ago. Judgingest? ANYWAY…)
As much as I love that album (still, I know), I would not have wanted to live inside it. A new baby with a dude who would die a week after we got married? Ummmmmmmno.
No, my friends, there are far better album covers that I’d rather beam into. You know… if that were… a thing. (Is that a thing? Not yet? Right, right. Soon, though?)
5. Nirvana – Nevermind
Who wouldn’t want to swim in a pool that has money floating around in it? Also, the album just turned 20, so in one more year it can legally start drinking and then start brooding and writing angsty music and get super depressed and suicidal and wait a minute…
4. Meatloaf – Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose
I highly recommend googling this one so you can get a closer look. Or you can just take my word for it that aside from a loose monster, it’s got a dude in tight jeans with a sword on a motorcycle that looks like a sea creature AND a mostly nekkid lady with wings who is obviously in distress despite the fact that she could probably just fly away and save herself but where is the fun in that? Also, I almost wrote that the monster is a dragon, until I realized at the last second that it is actually a bat. Out of, um, Hell.
3. Herb Alpert – Whipped Cream and Other Delights
That’s fine, just keep saying you’ve never wanted to wear whipped cream. I believe you.
2. Whitney Houston – I’m Your Baby Tonight
That’s Whitney herself perched upon a motorcycle, y’all. In white jeans. AND KEDS. And if that’s not enough to convince you she’s ready to party, just read the license plate.
SPOILER ALERT: it says “NIPPY.”
1. The Beatles – Abbey Road
No big deal, it’s just one of the most iconic album covers ever from the most famous band in all of the history of time EVER. Probably the most parodied album cover, too. Yep… so that’s important and stuff… oh, who am I kidding? I just want to find out if George stuffed his tight pants with a cucumber.
The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Electric Ladyland
When I asked my husband what album cover he’d want to live in, he chose the one with the most tits. I couldn’t not mention it.
What album covers would YOU want to live in?